Let me tell you something you might already know: Perfectionism can drive us to greatness in ways, but it also hurts us so much when we let codydramol it dominate our focus!
In this world, when you put yourself out there and stand for something, for anything, you’ve got self-doubt and “nay-sayers” that appear in the road ahead of you. I have battled this for a long time, and the hardest part hasn’t been anyone else but myself – my own mind.
I suppose that we’re hard on ourselves for a few reasons:
– The mistakes we’ve made in the past that have led to shame in many cases
– Our own lack of self-confidence/worth
– The fact that we start a lot of projects with huge enthusiasm, only to quit them just as fast. That would make anyone second-guess themselves
– Negative messages from others around us who either question us or don’t believe that we can actually follow-through with something successfully
– A list of other reasons……you know yours
Adult ADHD perfectionism is a demon to overcome
Yeah – I said it. I said it and I’m working hard every month in therapy to keep my head above water where this is concerned. So what if I’m not perfect? Who the hell cares as long as I pour my heart and soul into raising Adult ADHD awareness! Some will love me, some won’t care and others might call me an ego-maniac due to my intense passion to be a “messenger” for this cause.
– OK. That’s OK. I never cared about pleasing everyone – just reaching, inspiring and supporting those who hear my message, my battle and my honesty. That is what I care about.
It has taken some major “compassion-focused” therapy to get to where I am today at 38 years of age, but wow, the story just gets sweeter as I share the good, the bad and the trauma through this blog and with students all over the place, reaching the ones I’m meant to reach. What a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
In the end
You’ve got to count on yourself, uncovering YOUR true path in this life. That sure as heck isn’t easy, nor do I have the “perfect” answer on how you can overcome self-doubt, fear and anxiety with Adult ADHD perfectionism. I have told you my approach, and I will work on this every day for the rest of my life, getting better at it as I go. Here’s what I can tell you, though:
You’re never going to please everyone. You won’t be liked by everyone and you sure as hell won’t find your silver lining anywhere but inside yourself. Yes – lead your passion, by all means! That is a huge piece of the puzzle. However – as you reach for the stars, remember the ones who love and support you every step of the way. No matter how successful you are, they will be the ones who helped you learn through thick and thin.
None of us are successful and happy alone. It takes a lot of puzzle-pieces to realize a fulfilled life, regardless of what your goals and desires are.